The Anti Foolish Hair Cut Association
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Curse of the hair
We at TAFHCA had pointed out about the inherent risks of cricketers taking drastic haircuts before leaving shores. We even cited the example of Irfan Pathan and his miserable West Indian sojourn but the Pakistani cricketers refused to listen.
Well now they have lost a Test series in England for the 1st time in 24 years by an embarassing 3-0 margin (non-reflection of the actual contest in the scoreline is hardly a consolation) and the series culminated in this finale of a penalty for ball tampering leading match forfeiture and all sorts of other conceivable incidents that can be termed ugly.
To us at TAFHCA, the Pakistani problem started with hair and ended with Hair. ¶ 6:12 AM 0 comments links to this post
Well now they have lost a Test series in England for the 1st time in 24 years by an embarassing 3-0 margin (non-reflection of the actual contest in the scoreline is hardly a consolation) and the series culminated in this finale of a penalty for ball tampering leading match forfeiture and all sorts of other conceivable incidents that can be termed ugly.
To us at TAFHCA, the Pakistani problem started with hair and ended with Hair. ¶ 6:12 AM 0 comments links to this post
Friday, June 23, 2006
Temporary renaming of TAFHCA, and an appeal
TAFHCA stands for 'The Anti Foolish Hair Cut Association'. However for entirely publishable reasons we are renaming it as ''The Anti Football Hair Cut Association" in a bid to deter mad football fans from insisting upon replicating hell in cranial areas that once sported something called decent hair. Work on a draft criminal law is nearing completion in right earnest for this purpose. When implemented, this law will implicate hair dressers complying to such wishes as the chief culprits and decree that they be tried in criminal courts under the same section of law as contract killers.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THE ASSOCIATION OBJECTS ONLY TO THE ATROCIOUS HAIRCUTS ASSOCIATED WITH FOOTBALL AND NO HARD FEELINGS EXIST FOR THE GAME ITSELF.
'Diwali' is arguably the biggest festival in India and it is widely celebrated with a display of fireworks at all nooks and corners of communities. The atmosphere is similar on New Year eve at some city locations. However such festive evenings often become dreaded affairs for people with a dislike for noise and animals with hypersensitive ears, like stray and pet dogs. They are forced to withstand some extreme noise production to their horror and extreme disturbance. The society nowadays sees that problem as an area of concern and aims to prevent noise levels from exceeding bearable limits at all times.
TAFHCA wants to make a request to the same society:
We, the registered and non registered members of TAFHCA, are destined to feel like canines-on-Diwali-eve for not one night but a whole few months every four years around the time when Football World Cup is on. Principal Reason: Numbingly torturous hair fashion sported by almost all major soccer stars and - worse - such fashion getting imitated by numerous soccer maniacs with follicidal tendencies. [Thank God for small mercies like Zinedine Zidane & Thierry Henry; the number of horror-haired heroes could be even more had some of the men on show not been suffering from hair loss.]
We feel TAFHCA feelings can at least be allotted as much consideration as canine ears. Is it asking for too much?
[No picture links are thought necessary to be included in this post for demonstration of the case in point; a casual surfing of current sports news on television channels during World Cup months can confirm the TAFHCA woes to the doubters. As per TAFHCA survey reports, an average of 10.189 players and 0.623 goalkeepers per team (including bench) are having bad hairdos. The figures exclude coaches, administrators and support staff.]
¶ 3:17 PM 0 comments
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PLEASE NOTE THAT THE ASSOCIATION OBJECTS ONLY TO THE ATROCIOUS HAIRCUTS ASSOCIATED WITH FOOTBALL AND NO HARD FEELINGS EXIST FOR THE GAME ITSELF.
'Diwali' is arguably the biggest festival in India and it is widely celebrated with a display of fireworks at all nooks and corners of communities. The atmosphere is similar on New Year eve at some city locations. However such festive evenings often become dreaded affairs for people with a dislike for noise and animals with hypersensitive ears, like stray and pet dogs. They are forced to withstand some extreme noise production to their horror and extreme disturbance. The society nowadays sees that problem as an area of concern and aims to prevent noise levels from exceeding bearable limits at all times.
TAFHCA wants to make a request to the same society:
We, the registered and non registered members of TAFHCA, are destined to feel like canines-on-Diwali-eve for not one night but a whole few months every four years around the time when Football World Cup is on. Principal Reason: Numbingly torturous hair fashion sported by almost all major soccer stars and - worse - such fashion getting imitated by numerous soccer maniacs with follicidal tendencies. [Thank God for small mercies like Zinedine Zidane & Thierry Henry; the number of horror-haired heroes could be even more had some of the men on show not been suffering from hair loss.]
We feel TAFHCA feelings can at least be allotted as much consideration as canine ears. Is it asking for too much?
[No picture links are thought necessary to be included in this post for demonstration of the case in point; a casual surfing of current sports news on television channels during World Cup months can confirm the TAFHCA woes to the doubters. As per TAFHCA survey reports, an average of 10.189 players and 0.623 goalkeepers per team (including bench) are having bad hairdos. The figures exclude coaches, administrators and support staff.]
Monday, May 29, 2006
Scalp flu comes to Asian Cricket
All right friends, if we have had enough of banter I can get down to some serious business. There is this alarming scenario developing ever so silently, one that needs redressal of the intensive care variety. We need serious, well meaning applications from well wishers of Asian cricket team as hairdo consultants for bowlers of India, Srilanka, Bangladesh and Pakistan.
Two of the most promising young bowlers of this region Irfan Pathan and Lasith Malinga have used their summer holidays for a common hideous activity. Irfan is forever playing an important role for his team when on the field and must have found the holidays especially trying on his patience. Finding nothing better to bide his time with, Irfan picked his pleasant looking curly mane and cropped it right back to the scalp. Probable lame excuses: a) effective heat dissipation during the summer series in the Caribbean and b) while in the islands, look as they do.
While Irfan's new hair styling is blissfully bad, Lasith Malinga has surely borrowed his from Hell. And to think Lasith will be playing an early summer series in England! That leaves him with no angle that could hint at such transformation of his hairdo from atrocious to unmentionable. Any further discussion on it has to be an abominable waste of words, and I am being generous to leave it at that.
For Lasith who starts action slightly later in the summer than Pathan, there is a lesson to be learnt from Pathan's all-round loss of form in the Caribbean over the entire one day series. For the sake of his team he surely needs to review that self-inflicted curse on his head right now, or his bowling form too may rightly refuse to co-exist with it.
Cricket loving readers need to consider this as a chance to help the teams get rid of an inexplicable affliction in the bowling ranks and a godsent opportunity to repay the joys provided them by their beloved cricket team and its talented bowlers (when they were in their right minds). The 1st set of applications may please be sent to BCCI and BCCSL in view of the obvious crises they face.
¶ 8:27 PM 2 comments
links to this post
All right friends, if we have had enough of banter I can get down to some serious business. There is this alarming scenario developing ever so silently, one that needs redressal of the intensive care variety. We need serious, well meaning applications from well wishers of Asian cricket team as hairdo consultants for bowlers of India, Srilanka, Bangladesh and Pakistan.Two of the most promising young bowlers of this region Irfan Pathan and Lasith Malinga have used their summer holidays for a common hideous activity. Irfan is forever playing an important role for his team when on the field and must have found the holidays especially trying on his patience. Finding nothing better to bide his time with, Irfan picked his pleasant looking curly mane and cropped it right back to the scalp. Probable lame excuses: a) effective heat dissipation during the summer series in the Caribbean and b) while in the islands, look as they do.
While Irfan's new hair styling is blissfully bad, Lasith Malinga has surely borrowed his from Hell. And to think Lasith will be playing an early summer series in England! That leaves him with no angle that could hint at such transformation of his hairdo from atrocious to unmentionable. Any further discussion on it has to be an abominable waste of words, and I am being generous to leave it at that.
For Lasith who starts action slightly later in the summer than Pathan, there is a lesson to be learnt from Pathan's all-round loss of form in the Caribbean over the entire one day series. For the sake of his team he surely needs to review that self-inflicted curse on his head right now, or his bowling form too may rightly refuse to co-exist with it.
Cricket loving readers need to consider this as a chance to help the teams get rid of an inexplicable affliction in the bowling ranks and a godsent opportunity to repay the joys provided them by their beloved cricket team and its talented bowlers (when they were in their right minds). The 1st set of applications may please be sent to BCCI and BCCSL in view of the obvious crises they face.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Salman Khan's legal hassles
This post is a disclaimer that the judges and authorities that arrested Indian filmstar Salman Khan, and subsequently passed two separate jail sentences on him for breach of Indian Wildlife Act, are not registered TAFHCA members.
It has come to our notice that Salman Khan fans aware of this site have a sneaking suspicion that Salman's bad hairstyle may have much to do with the magnitude of his punishment, and that people associated with TAFHCA may have influenced powers-that-be to sentence him thus.
We want to clear the air once and for all. Our attempts to that end were entirely unsuccessful and the police / judges would not listen to us on the issue.
However we would have no option but to explore other ways to inflict legal punishment upon Salman for his aweful looking crown if it dares reappear in public one more time.
¶ 1:00 PM 0 comments links to this post
This post is a disclaimer that the judges and authorities that arrested Indian filmstar Salman Khan, and subsequently passed two separate jail sentences on him for breach of Indian Wildlife Act, are not registered TAFHCA members.It has come to our notice that Salman Khan fans aware of this site have a sneaking suspicion that Salman's bad hairstyle may have much to do with the magnitude of his punishment, and that people associated with TAFHCA may have influenced powers-that-be to sentence him thus.
We want to clear the air once and for all. Our attempts to that end were entirely unsuccessful and the police / judges would not listen to us on the issue.
However we would have no option but to explore other ways to inflict legal punishment upon Salman for his aweful looking crown if it dares reappear in public one more time.
¶ 1:00 PM 0 comments links to this post
Friday, February 17, 2006
KP Watch
The weather in Bombay, where the English cricketeres are currently based is quite reasonably pleasant, at least by my standards, lows 30 C is very kind, it can get much hotter then this. But overseas cricketers coming to the sub-continent are known to do wacky things to adjust to the climate here. Lou Vincent, the plucky Kiwi opening batsman, for instance, I recall, shaved off his hair completely in New Zealand's last tour to India.
This, he said, was a way to counter the heat, as it somehow helped the body to radiate more heat and absorb less of it (whatever). Don't know if the same reasoning is behind KP's new nearly shaved off or 'cropped' look as Cricinfo call it, or may be England are just bored again, or this is the first step towards acquiring the impending 'crow-cut' which aparently Mr.Universe has dared him to have (hat tip, worma), whatever it is, I (and TAFHCA) remain unconvinced, and unimpressed. Hideous sun glasses also, what's he asking for in that first picture? More moisteriser?
¶ 1:15 AM 0 comments
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Disclaimer: Caution, post titled by this phrase, i.e. KP watch, may often contain, potentially disturbing images that some sensitive eyed/stomached people may find offensive. Authouress advises viewer discretion at all times.
The weather in Bombay, where the English cricketeres are currently based is quite reasonably pleasant, at least by my standards, lows 30 C is very kind, it can get much hotter then this. But overseas cricketers coming to the sub-continent are known to do wacky things to adjust to the climate here. Lou Vincent, the plucky Kiwi opening batsman, for instance, I recall, shaved off his hair completely in New Zealand's last tour to India.
This, he said, was a way to counter the heat, as it somehow helped the body to radiate more heat and absorb less of it (whatever). Don't know if the same reasoning is behind KP's new nearly shaved off or 'cropped' look as Cricinfo call it, or may be England are just bored again, or this is the first step towards acquiring the impending 'crow-cut' which aparently Mr.Universe has dared him to have (hat tip, worma), whatever it is, I (and TAFHCA) remain unconvinced, and unimpressed. Hideous sun glasses also, what's he asking for in that first picture? More moisteriser?
Monday, February 13, 2006
New addition to TAHCA pet hate list
With a wig like that, no wonder you like Dhoni's ridiculous whatever it is...Sheesh!
¶ 10:58 AM 0 comments
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For a variety of reasons, I'm not what you can call a fan of our President Mushy. He was in Lahore watching the game today, and according to Cricinfo's Quote Unquote section he told TAFHCA's pet hate number 1 (now that KP's down to number 2) as follows:
A lot of placards in the crowd have suggested that you should get a haircut, but
if you take my advice, you look good in this hairstyle.
GOOD? How do you define good, Mr. President? Thanks to that 'advice' of yours you have now moved considerably higher in my bad books. And whilst I'm at it, I might as well add you to my TAFHCA pet hate list.
With a wig like that, no wonder you like Dhoni's ridiculous whatever it is...Sheesh!
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Of Byron, bigwigs and barbers
Now I must wind this up. So long friends. We shall watch your hair and keep reminding you when necessary till you wake up to the essential nature of our mission. [Thank you for not raising queries on 'essentiality of TAFHCA mission' in comments to this post please - President,TAFHCA shall surely clarify any queries on that matter] May your hearts warm in the bitter cold of this January’s winter to the knowledge that your neighbourhood barbershop too must have contributed in some way to the birth of The Anti Foolish Hair Cut Association.
Lord Byron sang of her in ‘She walks in Beauty’:
“One ray the more, one shade the less
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress….”
I am indeed extremely sorry to be a hairy devil (how I wish I were) and so rudely truncate the tremendous meter in the lines there. I only wanted to point out that in this paragraph Byron was being typical. Most romantic poets do tend to touch upon, fleetingly mention at least once the hair fashion of their female subject of admiration. And why not? Hairstyling always was a defining feature of a woman’s beauty. Of any human being, for that matter. And it is this aspect of physical presentation that we at TAFHCA are here to protect from malappropriation, misrepresentation and downright mistreatment.
Men’s hairstyles generally prove to be more difficult to define within the bounds of fashion. Anything that can be achieved with a pair of scissors will get flaunted in the name of ‘individuality’. Not so anymore in the very near future, for TAFHCA is now keeping watch on the errant lot. And these do-gooders shall not be silenced by the barberous voices till their ultimate goal of a ‘Foolish Hair free world’ is reached.
And this is no policing, not in any way! We are really here to help those in need of guidance and help. A few ruling guidelines of prevalent men’s hairsyles can be viewed here. However the studious and on-a-hair-reforming-mission types are encouraged to go for this website full of suggestions, not many of which are approved by TAFHCA.
People desirous of emulating celebrity hair fashion can have a look at this.
[*Wa*r*n*i*n*g*: With the exception of a rare few, most of the atrocities demonstrated in that link are strictly avoidable as per laid down guidelines of TAFHCA .]
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress….”
I am indeed extremely sorry to be a hairy devil (how I wish I were) and so rudely truncate the tremendous meter in the lines there. I only wanted to point out that in this paragraph Byron was being typical. Most romantic poets do tend to touch upon, fleetingly mention at least once the hair fashion of their female subject of admiration. And why not? Hairstyling always was a defining feature of a woman’s beauty. Of any human being, for that matter. And it is this aspect of physical presentation that we at TAFHCA are here to protect from malappropriation, misrepresentation and downright mistreatment.
Men’s hairstyles generally prove to be more difficult to define within the bounds of fashion. Anything that can be achieved with a pair of scissors will get flaunted in the name of ‘individuality’. Not so anymore in the very near future, for TAFHCA is now keeping watch on the errant lot. And these do-gooders shall not be silenced by the barberous voices till their ultimate goal of a ‘Foolish Hair free world’ is reached.
And this is no policing, not in any way! We are really here to help those in need of guidance and help. A few ruling guidelines of prevalent men’s hairsyles can be viewed here. However the studious and on-a-hair-reforming-mission types are encouraged to go for this website full of suggestions, not many of which are approved by TAFHCA.
People desirous of emulating celebrity hair fashion can have a look at this.
[*Wa*r*n*i*n*g*: With the exception of a rare few, most of the atrocities demonstrated in that link are strictly avoidable as per laid down guidelines of TAFHCA .]
Incidentally the sporting celebrity whose birthday it happens to be today also has a hairstyle approved by TAFHCA. During his ongoing tour of Pakistan he will be visiting Karachi, the HQ of our association. TAFHCA President Zainub Razvi is scheduled to approach him for saying a few words in encouragement of our noble mission.
Now I must wind this up. So long friends. We shall watch your hair and keep reminding you when necessary till you wake up to the essential nature of our mission. [Thank you for not raising queries on 'essentiality of TAFHCA mission' in comments to this post please - President,TAFHCA shall surely clarify any queries on that matter] May your hearts warm in the bitter cold of this January’s winter to the knowledge that your neighbourhood barbershop too must have contributed in some way to the birth of The Anti Foolish Hair Cut Association.
Next time you pass it by, try to have a kind thought for the souls working there, wielding their scissors on unsuspecting heads dawn to dusk in their essential pursuit of producing more and more abominable haircuts before the day is done.
¶ 11:38 AM 3 comments
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